There’s a Battle Raging inside my Mind

NONAH – Jump (Official Lyric Video) – YouTube 

This song is so me. There’s a battle raging inside my mind. I want to trust God one hundred percent – but then my doubt pulls me down. I want to give all of myself to Him, to fix my eyes on Him Who created me. The One I know is faithful. The One Who deserves my all. Why do I doubt Him, when He is always there for me? One day I say I’m going to give him all of me and not look back, and the next I stop and look around at the mess all around me and doubt. I doubt if I’m doing all of what I could do or am supposed to. My heart starts to race and my anxiety starts to overwhelm me to the point where I feel like I just have to give up everything that I’ve been trying for. 

Take this website for instance. God wants me to do this. He told me so a couple years ago when I asked Him what He wanted me to do. He said, “website”. I knew exactly what He meant when He said that – but then why is it taking so very long for me to get it going? I question that. It’s not His fault I’m not focusing on it as much as I should be. It’s my fault that I don’t set enough time aside for it. But then when I do set aside the time, other things come up so that I don’t end up working on it, or for a much shorter time then I needed to. So then I’m tempted to give up. Maybe I don’t have what it takes. Maybe I misheard or misunderstood Him. 

But deep down I know I didn’t mishear or misunderstand Him. Even if I had before. I know I didn’t now. And I know that He is patient, that His timing is different from mine. So even if it takes longer than I think it should, that’s okay. 

Let’s talk a little about God’s patience for a moment. We know that our God is patient because it says so in the Bible. Like in 2nd Peter 3:9. He is not slow like we understand slowness. He is patient because He doesn’t want anyone to perish, but instead for everyone to repent and come to Him!

We know that God is love and love is patient amongst other things like it says in 1 Corinthians 13:4. His patience means salvation as it says in 2nd Peter 3:15. But we do have to be careful to not take advantage of his patience and kindness towards us, like it says in Romans 2:4. Instead we should show others about how great His patience is by showing them how He was, and is, patient with us! 

We need to be an example, like Paul says in 1st Timothy 1:16. We need to be prepared in every season of our life and for the next seasons of our life. To correct, rebuke and encourage. With great patience and careful instruction, like it says in 2nd Timothy 4:2. To “be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer” like it says in Romans 12:12. 

I know that God is patient, and I know that He wants me to be patient. That I still need to be action oriented in my patience, that way I’m not taking advantage of His patience, but still getting things done for His glory! 

So how do we fight that battle of doubt that rages in our heads? We pray. We take action. One small little step forward, like forgiving yourself or someone else is better than just continuing to doubt and stress and worry! Fight the anxiety with positive thoughts. Turn your thoughts around. Go from ‘I am not enough’ to ‘I am enough’. From ‘I can’t do it alone’ to ‘I can do it, because I am not alone’. Pray for others to come into your life to help you. Search and He will put someone there for you! Or as the Bible says, “seek and you will find”. Which I believe is true for most things. What are you seeking? Change your mindset into a positive one by seeking positive things and being patient. It’s not easy, nor is it a quick fix. It takes time and lot’s of patience, but I’m here to tell you that it is possible to change your mindset into a healthy and happy one! Even if your circumstances don’t change, you can change. I believe in you and will be praying for you!

I hope this post encourages you and gives you some good things to think about. 

Bye for now, have a wonderful day! 

~ Carissa