In His Hands There is Peace

Be Alright – Evan Craft, Danny Gokey, Redimi2 – YouTube

This is an encouraging and real song that helps give hope when you are going through trials and everything seems dark and depressing. It’s hard to believe that everything will be alright when you are going through hard or dark times, or when your world is falling apart like it is made of sand. For me, knowing that my whole world is in His hands gives me peace. Knowing that everything will be alright, even if it doesn’t look like it will be any time soon. 

I’ve had my share of stressful, painful, confusing situations. This year particularly. I keep thinking that the hard times are over, at least for a little while, but as soon as I get back up on my feet something else comes up – determined to knock me down. And maybe it does briefly. I still have anxiety, even if I have gotten a lot better at getting it under control. The bad things in this world still threaten to overwhelm me. 

Lately there have been more issues going on with my family. My family isn’t perfect. No family is perfect, as no human is perfect. Jesus is the only One Who walked the earth as a perfect being. But allow me to tell you a little bit about my family. 

I am the oldest of nine. I have a biological brother and sister, a Chinese sister, four Colombian brothers and a Colombian sister. We adopted my Chinese sister at the end of 2010. We adopted my Colombian siblings at the beginning of 2013. 

Adoption isn’t easy y’all. Especially when there aren’t very many people there supporting you. We did a crazy thing, adopting five kids at once. One that most people find insane. And we truly couldn’t have done it without God. 

Nine years later and we still don’t have very many supporters. It is still hard. I was forced to grow up at the age of twelve, which wasn’t a big deal because I was already mature for my age. But with our family changing so much, so quickly, and each of the kids having their own issues, it really took a toll on all of us. We weren’t prepared for everything we had to go through and are going through. Only with God’s help have we made it this far. 

Let me repeat myself and clarify something: I am the oldest of nine, I’ve had so many tough life experiences, but I wouldn’t change it for the world. I love each one of my siblings so much and I know they love me. I’ve traveled the world, been deep in the depths of anxiety and maybe depression because of culture shock, being alone/feeling alone, and being walked over like a doormat combined with other life changes from over the years. I’ve had two of my best friends, one that I’ve known for seven years and the other for eighteen years, decide not to be friends with me anymore in a sudden way. I’ve been dumped at the age of twenty-three by my first boyfriend (who I was only with for a short time, but it still hurt and was a shock). I’ve lost two grandparents whom I was close to in within the past couple months to six years.

I’ve experienced tons of emotional pain and confusion. But I’m fighting all of that with God’s help. He gives me strength to keep going each day. He gives me peace beyond understanding when I need it most. Without Him, I probably wouldn’t be here today. 

With Him by my side, I am a better, stronger, wiser, more confident person than I have ever been and I am so grateful for all He’s done for me! 

He can and will do that for you too, if you trust Him. Faith as small as a mustard seed can move a mountain. You just gotta believe! Have faith like a child. Have you ever noticed that children tend to trust super easily? It’s hard for adults to trust like that because we know of the evils of this world and doubt His goodness amongst all the pain. 

But you can fight evil with good. You can find joy in the overwhelming darkness that surrounds you. It takes practice and focus and then refocus. Joy is a mindset – one that might have to be learned. Of course you won’t always be joyful, I’m certainly not. But I try to be, and that’s all one can do. Keep trying, keep praying for God to help you with that. Think of any and all the good things in your life, a child, a pet or a roof over your head. Remember the good memories you’ve had, knowing that you will have other good memories, maybe with a different person or people or at different places. Know that God loves you and you are very special to Him! That He wants you to be happy to find joy despite the darkness.  

Here are a couple Bible verses about joy: Psalm 94:19 and Psalm 95:1 

Sometimes we go through trials. Sometimes we have strong temptations to do something we know we shouldn’t do. Be strong, do what He would do. Jesus was fully man and fully God. He was tempted. He was in pain. He didn’t want to die the painful death on the cross. But He loved us so much that He did. So that we could be with Him someday. 

Tell all of your concerns to God. He listens to you and knows your needs. He’s there for you, to give you strength where you need it, wisdom and the courage to continue on. Trust Him in everything you do. 

I just want to throw it out there that if you are going through or have gone through adoption or know someone who is/had, know that you aren’t alone for all the crazy struggles that no one warned you about. Reach out to me so we can talk! I’d love to encourage you in any way I can. Someday, I’ll write a book about my experiences 🙂 

That’s all I have for today.

Bye for now, have a wonderful day!

~ Carissa